What happened?? OMG, I was so totally buried at work today that I didn’t have time to sneak off for a dirty lunch break or even make plans for tonight.
Something better happen soon because I’m ready to explode. I’m supposed to get with my bearfriend later this week, but I don’t think I can wait that long. #blueballs
Through a weird combination of repeatedly sticking my tongue out during a performance piece and some intense cock-sucking this morning, I actually ruptured a spot on my frenulum (that piece of skin that attaches your tongue to the floor of your mouth). It’s small, but it hurts like a muthafucka!
So no cock-sucking, deep kissing or using a straw for the next 7-10 days while it heals. Boo.
Since I’m so tall, someone suggested I get a line tattooed on my chest and when people ask what it means, just say “you have to be at least this tall to ride this ride.”
A hilarious idea that I’m actually considering doing…except that the opposite is really true. If you’re over 6 feet tall, it’s unlikely I’m going to find you sexually attractive. There are exceptions, of course, but I love my little guys…