On my way home from the bar last night, my phone started blowing up with hookup requests. At that late hour, the guys online were bound to be drunk or high on something. (I know I was!) But one tweaker in particular made me laugh. He asked if I “parTy,” which I took as an invitation to come over, do crystal and fuck him. He was handsome, but not my type, and since I quit “parTying” years and years ago, I politely declined.

He acted surprised and told me in no uncertain terms that nobody had invited me anywhere. To which I replied, “so you just wanted to know if I use crystal meth? I don’t.” His response? “Oh u look like you do.” Satirically, I said “thanks!” And he promptly blocked me.

Not to imply anything about performers Jaxson Colt, Ryan Knightly or Johnny Smash, but I imagine if I had gone over to this tweaker’s place, shit would have gone down something like this. A little rape-y, very uncomfortable and definitely a hot mess…

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