It’s almost May and conversations are turning toward Gay Days. All the Last Minute Marys are hitting the gym, desperate to get in shape before the pool parties begin, and all I can say is: Too late, girl. You should have started 6 months ago…or more.
Not trying to be a hater, but please put down your phone and at least try to use the equipment you’re making me wait for. I’ve gotta wrap up this workout and go buy me some new Speedos…one size smaller.
Puppy is coming back into town today, and I’m ready to make that tail wag! The plan? Have him over to my new house. Get him intimately acquainted with my new mattress. Then, dinner at a new foodie outpost and tickets to a big show.
My god. How do these young kids end up with massive, muscular bodies if not from steroids? I mean, if that’s natural (doubt it), he’s going to be huge his entire life.
I love my fit yoga body, but it would be fun to be bigger. And at my height, I would be a muthafuckin’ giant…